Cool Beans

Guys and fire...and VCRs

2011-03-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

This last weekend, my friend, S, had a movie night with a couple friends and his roommates. When I arrived S and his roommates were trying to start a fire in their fireplace. Not too big of a deal, right? Wrong. They were using condensed logs, which were not wanting to blaze in open flame. They looked like logs with a lit match in the middle. That's it. So, to get the fire going, they decided to use their super old vacuum to blow air on it. Boy, did it blow. Smoke and ashes were flying EVERYWHERE. I was tempted to pull out my phone and start filming because I was anticipating a disaster. Well, it wasn't quite a disaster, but four of the smoke detectors in the apartment went off, including the one at the opposite end of the apartment. They opened the doors and windows, and the smoke just flooded out of the apartment. I went outside to help a friend find the place, and I saw this giant cloud of smoke coming from the window. But that's not all. Little did I know that back inside the apartment another fire was starting, but not in the fireplace...on the stove. They were making homemade popcorn and something caught fire. Luckily, they were able to put it out fairly easily even though it was bigger than the one in the fireplace. The fireplace fire ended up looking like a smoke bomb going off in the logs.

Things started to seem normal after all of this, and it was time to start the movie. Well, they had an incredibly old VCR, so S bought some 80's VHS movies from D.I. Our options were great. We had Ferris Beuller's Day Off, The Last Starfighter, The Burbs, and another that I don't remember. The winner was The Last Starfighter. We stuck it in and were ready to laugh our heads off when it decided not to start. S and a roommate tried for 10 or so minutes to get it going, but with no success. The VCR was dead. I happened to have one, so I ran back home and grabbed it. When I got back, they were still trying to get the VHS out of the VCR. There were two things that worried me about this: (1) they were using knives instead of tools even though they had tools. (2) they hadn't unplugged the VCR yet. Dear goodness! All we needed was electrocution on top of the fires. They unplugged it, grabbed some tools and 20 minutes later the VHS was successfully removed. Their VCR could never be used again, but that's not the point. The point is that we were finally able to watch the movie. Yea! And we got some great laughs out of it.

Lesson: Some guys should never be allowed near fire or VCRs...unless you're searching for a good laugh.

Stupid Drivers

2010-10-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

I find it amazing how many drivers do not see the cars around them when they drive. During the last month or so it seems like I have been getting cut off by other drivers much more that usual. They'll pull out in front of me, make an abrupt lane change, make a speedy turn, and so on. Really? How the junk do they not see me? I'm in a frickin bright red car! Kind of stands out from the others. (It's true. I have no trouble finding my car in a parking lot.) You have to have good enough vision to even get a license, so what's going on? Either there has been some sort of phenomenon and the world is going blind, or society as a whole is becoming ruder and more stupid. Hmmm...I'm going with the latter.

Haunted Halloween

2010-10-08T10:46:00.001-07:00

Each year, for the last several years, my friends and I go to haunted houses, forests, etc. When you go with the right group, it's actually more entertaining than scary. To demonstrate, I would like to share a few of the many memories with you.

Rocky Point Haunted Mansion: My friend sicked one of the spooks from the insane asylum on me. He came up behind me to scare me, but it just so happened that at the same time I was startled by something else in front of me. I jumped back and accidentally rammed this spook into the wall. He then proceeded to follow me and torture me, for revenge I'm sure.
Rocky Point Haunted Mansion: My friends and I were in the last stretch of the mansion, which was a really long and empty hallway. We saw the end and started to relax. Then, my friend in very back heard the chain saw rev up and started yelling, "Chain saw guy! Chain saw guy!" It was like slow motion, the rest of us turned our heads back, dropped our jaws, turned and began to push and shove to try not to get caught. My friend, who had warned us of the danger, ended up in back anyway. Hey, when it comes to chain saw guys, it's every man form himself.
Rocky Point Haunted Mansion: We reached the area where Wolfman was supposed to be. It was a misty wooded area with a gypsy lady at the beginning. We didn't see an exact path to take so we asked her which way to go. In a very dramatic response she loudly moaned, "Into the forest!" We said, "Yes, we know, but which path?" Which was interrupted by, "Into the forest!" We dubbed her crazy and moved forward. B and I were in front, D and Br were in back. B and I saw absolutely nothing and proclaimed as we were leaving that that was ridiculously stupid. My friends D and Br on the other hand did see Wolfman, right next to their faces. They freaked out and pushed us forward.
Haunted Forest: They warn you not to run as you go in because there are roots and things sticking up and they don't want people getting hurt. (Really? Who's not going to run?) We were doing OK until, once again, there were chain saw guys. Three of them popped out from the bushes. I started to run, but D came up behind me and grabbed me from behind in a tight bear hug so I wouldn't. I was still trying to run and get away, so I was slowly dragging D forward. I think it must have been quite an scene for the chain saw guys to see.
Rocky Point Haunted Mansion: We were going through the Pirates of the Caribbean section (totally cool) and D got freaked out by some water entering the boat and jumped back and stepped on Da's foot. Da said, "Really? Out of all the things to get freaked out about, you get freaked out by water."
Different Haunted Forest: We entered the insane asylum part, with this crazy dude with weird contacts. He did not freak me out. What did freak me out was this little spider that wasn't even a part of the asylum, it was just there. Yeah, I got out of there as fast as I could.
Haunted Hay Ride: Again, there were chain saw guys. Luckily I was in the middle of the wagon, so they couldn't reach me. But instead of a chain saw guy getting in my face, a complete stranger freaked out and jumped into my lap and held on for dear life. Slightly awkward.
Nightmare on 13th: We were going through this maze and I was leading the way. Well, actually I was just following the people in front of us. As I was following, this big spook popped out and blocked our way and would not let us pass. We tried to reason with him to let us pass. I didn't realize this at the moment, but as we were trying to persuade him I was actually poking him in chest. Why I was poking a random stranger dressed as a spook, I don't know.
Nightmare on 13th: As you're waiting in line to enter, you can watch screens that show people going through it. Hilarious! Especially at the Bate's Motel area. People were jumping over the bed, cowering in a corner, clothes-lining their friends by tugging on the back of their shirts, etc. We noticed where the spook was, the shower. So, we were prepared. We got to that part and he wasn't coming out. I was at the end and just knew that he would jump out on me. Nope. He had changed spots and scared the junk out of my friend who was in front.

Well, I ended up sharing more memories than I originally planned, and these aren't even half of them. I hope you are as entertained as I am by these. Probably not, but whatever. I enjoyed the memories.

Fireworks and Ninjas

2010-07-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

This last weekend was Pioneer Day in Utah, which was nice because I love holiday weekends. I spent the entire weekend at a friend's house and had a lot of fun the entire 3 1/2 days I was there. Even though the whole weekend was great I really just want to focus on the events of Saturday night.

Another friend planned a group hike up the neighboring hills and mountains to watch the fireworks from all over the valley. Cool idea, but not quite what people were expecting. We hiked to this spot where we could see the everything for miles and miles (beautiful view, by the way), plopped open some blankets, and waited for signs of a big fireworks show. While we waited, we saw the strobe light effect of the fireworks done at people's homes, the flashing lights of police cars, and the sporadic flash of a larger firework. It was ridiculous. We'd see one big flash and then there wouldn't be another in the same spot until about five or so minutes later. Finally, just before we left, a city further south did an actual show. It was awesome.

After the hike back down, we went to a park to meet up with another group to play some night games. The problem was that we were about an hour late. By the time we got there, the other group was leaving. So, as we were hanging around the park deciding what to do next, I saw some black images moving toward us. At first, I thought they were two horses, but soon realized that they were actually people dressed in all black. I pointed them out to the rest of the group and everyone looked. As they got closer we realized they were dressed as ninjas. There was a line of six of them, and they acted as if they were playing following the leader. They walked along the sidewalk next to where we were, then stopped and faced us. Then turned again and took off running to who knows where. One of the guys in our group ran after them, but couldn't find them. Totally weird. Now, I'm not going to deny that I like to dress up in costumes whenever I have an excuse to do so, but that was just plain odd. Entertaining, but odd.

In the end, it was an entertaining and enjoyable evening, even though the fireworks were a bust and the ninjas were weird. The company, conversation, and jokes made it all worth it.

Rock You Like a Hurricane

2010-07-07T09:52:00.000-07:00

This last weekend one of my very best friends, D, got married to an absolutely wonderful guy, J. Since D is from Texas, she decided to get married there in the Houston temple. She really wanted me to go, so I did. It was kind of crazy though because the wedding happened around the same time as Hurricane Alex. It was pouring rain pretty much the entire time I was down there. Not kidding. But miraculously, the rain stopped for about half an hour after the wedding, which was awesome because they were able to take some pictures.

However, there was still an issue with the 100% humidity. As soon as anyone would pull out their camera, the lenses and screens would fog up.

But whatever. The photographer was still able to get some good shots. Now, since they got married in Texas, some of D's siblings wanted to make it a "Texas" wedding. How? The obvious answer...shotgun shells.

They became an official part of the decor for the luncheon. They also made an appearance at the wedding reception, but not in a class vase. The shells were cut and shaped into a lovely bouquet for D's sister, B, to carry around. Go Texas!

Now as I said before, Hurricane Alex was happening at pretty much the same time and because of that, Houston and other areas of Texas were drowning in the downpour.

Luckily I was indoors for that shot. But I was outside for this next one. I cheated by being under the porch though. The rain caused a bit of flooding, as you can see below by looking at "Lake Neighborhood." Luckily we were on the higher side of the street.

Now, my friend had planned to do an outdoor wedding reception at her parents' house. They have a lovely yard, but it was partially under water and the rest was more than sopping wet, and she had no backup plan. So, canopies were set up on the driveway instead. One collapsed because of the rain, but the others stayed strong. There still wasn't enough room for all of the tables though, so the garage was used as well. Things were cleared out of the way and hidden and decorated as much as possible, but it was still a garage. D's nephew and niece decided to make a poster to help decorate the garage and bring some humor to the situation. I thought it was great.

Even though Hurricane Alex messed up quite a bit, the wedding and reception turned out just fine. People still came, and D and J still enjoyed themselves. The most important part is that they were sealed for time and all eternity. Hurricane Alex couldn't mess up that.

Now, the one issue that I have with Hurricane Alex is that because of the extreme wetness and the humidity, all of the bugs were out. In a matter 45 minutes, I received 28 bug bites that still itch 5 days later. Curse bugs.

Thanks BSB, well for the most part

2010-06-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago, it was my friend D's birthday. My friend, C, thought that it would be a great idea to get her tickets to the Backstreet Boys concert since D is still a HUGE fan. I agreed, and so did another friend, J. We decided to get her two tickets and she could take whomever she wanted. She LOVED the gift, but could not decide who to take with her. I recommended she take a niece since they are fans too. Instead she bought two more tickets and invited C, J, and myself to go. I wasn't too excited about it because I used to be a fan, but it's been a long time and I don't really listen to their music anymore. But, I couldn't say no. So we all went and, for the most part, it actually turned out to be quite a bit of fun. Let me explain why.

Not fun: The ticket said 7:30. To most people they would interpret that as the time that the concert would start, but no. It's actually the time that they decided to let everyone into the Energy Solutions Arena. Then the opening act was not an opening act. It was their dj. It was fine for the first 5-10 minutes, but after 40 or so minutes it was long past time to be done. If I wanted to just listen to a dj, I could have just gone to one of the FREE dances at the school where I work. Oh wait! I just did the week before. The really annoying part was when the crowd would kind of die out he would shout into his microphone, "Are you ready for the Backstreet Boys?" The first time the crowd screamed and roared in anticipation, but then he just kept on going. By the fourth time, we had all had enough of his lying. But that wasn't the end of it. When the dj was finally done we had to wait 20 more minutes before the Backstreet Boys even came out. Lame! If I would have known that they wouldn't have come on stage until 9 pm, I wouldn't have shown up until 9 pm. Seriously, BSB, you can do better than that. I know it's been a while, but couldn't you have gotten a better opening act?

Fun: Once the Backstreet Boys finally came on stage and performed, I was taken back to my youth and sang along with the ones I knew.

So, lesson to be learned: never have a dj as your opening act.

Crappy Computers

2010-06-28T12:55:00.001-07:00

So, I really hate computers right now (even though ironically enough I'm using one to post this). My laptop decided to go on the fritz last week. REALLY bad timing, by the way because of my MA project that I need to finish immediately. It started slowly and will now no longer boot up. I called tech support and was on the phone with them for about 2 hours, which was bad because it was already 10 pm, I was tired and frustrated, and the guy was just reading prompts (no effort to be personable). We tried all sorts of things, but nothing worked. Finally, the guy said to do a hard disk test which would take over an hour and then to call them back. I did the test, but was so tired and cranky that I decided not to do so. He called back on Friday, but was not in the mood to deal with my computer so I didn't answer. He called back Saturday. I didn't hear my phone, so obviously I didn't answer; however, I knew I needed to call. So I did and had a much better experience. The guy was very friendly, made conversation, and helped me order a recovery disc since nothing else worked. It was done in about 20 minutes or less. So, the disc should be arriving within the next day or two. I'll try it out and if it doesn't work, I'm SO having them send me a new one since it's under warranty. I think that's the most frustrating thing; I haven't even had it for an entire year and it totally died.

Anyways, I just want to say thanks to tech support people who are friendly and care about the customer, or at least are really good at pretending to. It makes the process a whole lot easier on both sides (at least when the customer isn't a big jerk, like some are).

Jewelry

2010-06-10T13:26:00.000-07:00

So, one of my ultimate favorite hobbies is to make jewelry. I absolutely love it. So much so that I have a jewelry cabinet furniture thing instead of a jewelry box. I just go through these phases sometimes when I make several necklaces and then take a break for a month or so and make tons again and so on. Because of my love for making jewelry I usually make it for my friends as gifts. My most recent creation is a wedding necklace for a friend of mine who is getting married. While shopping for a dress she found a necklace that she liked and I told her I could make one like it. We talked about a few revisions and here is how it turned out:

I'm pretty proud of it and she loves it. Success!

So, I figured, while I'm showing you that one I may as well show you a few others. Some of these are recent and others are a little older, but I wanted to show varying styles. So, here you go.

I love Sheldon!

2010-06-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

This last week I finished watching the second season of Big Bang Theory. Frickin' hilarious show. My brother and sister-in-law introduced me to it a little while ago and I've been netflixing it. I haven't been able to watch any of the third season because I don't have TV, but I thought I would post my favorite Sheldon moments from the first two seasons, giving those of you who have seen it a happy moment in your day and for those of you who haven't seen it a glimpse of my favorite character in the show. So, here's the countdown of my favorite moments:

#9 Being caught in a loop in his "how to make friends" algorithm.

#8 Sheldon, defending his point that he could be batman, saying, "I'm batman."

#7 Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock

#6 In a drunken state, singing a song from Fiddler on the Roof in a restaurant.

#5 Going to a Renaissance fair dressed as Spock.

#4 Forcing smiles when Raj is in People magazine.

#3 Soft Kitty, twice.

#2 Being defeated in the neighbor battle with Penny by receiving a phone call from his mom.

#1 Receiving the used napkin signed by Leonard Nemoy.

Trip to Jersey

2010-06-08T17:34:00.000-07:00

So, I love Jersey and I love visiting Jersey. Two reasons why: my brother and sister-in-law and their kids live there, and I served my mission there. Wonderful place. I did a lot of fun things: celebrated S's birthday, went to Six Flags, went to NY, played Star Wars camping and Indiana Jones Legos, and so on. And of course I took many pictures. I've been trying to post an album on Facebook, but have failed miserably. Every time I try to post it, it fails. I don't know if it's the lack of strong wireless connection or what, but whatever is going on is annoying and hereby deserves a "Hehhhh!" (Mad cat hissing sound with accompanying mad cat facial expression). Anyways, back to the subject at hand, here are some of the pics from my awesome week that I wish could have been longer.

When parts of obstacle courses set up for a birthday party become hats...

...and leave behind a whole lot of static.

Kids just love throwing things...

...and hitting things. Knock the junk out of it S!

They also love gifts. But, hey, who doesn't? Well, Sheldon from Big Bang Theory doesn't, but since he's fictional he doesn't count (even though he's totally awesome).

Sometimes kids just need something to hold on to: a parent, a blanket, even a lunch bag. And boy W. had a tight grip on that thing.

Would not want to meet up with this thing in the deep blue.

Now, you all may be thinking, why the junk I took a picture of a worm and why the junk I posted it. Well, I'll tell you. When I first saw it, instead of thinking "worm" like any normal human being would do, I thought "Goa'uld. Proof that they exist." I had recently finished watching the Stargate SG1 series, so of course they would come to mind instead of worms.

Said "hi" to Rex.

Discovered the incredible length of an apatosaurus.

S. discovered heads.

Just thought it looked cool.

Yet again, static is the culprit.

S. loves chasing animals. Chased a bunny at his birthday party as well.

Found spring, while back in Utah it was still acting winter.

Just a cute little scene to finish up the lot.

What does a dead coyote say?

2010-05-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

So, this story is not my own, but I thought it was so frickin' funny that I needed to share it with the world...well, at least those who actually read my blog that I haven't updated in 3 months. I am warning you now though, it is a little gross. When my roommate, B, was around two, her uncle was staying with them and he was a hunter. One day he had shot a coyote, and he took it back to B's home. For some reason, who knows why, B decided to repeatedly jump on the dead coyote, which would wheeze every time she landed on it. Gross, I know, but here's the funny part. Her uncle would then get the biggest kick out of asking her, "What does a dead coyote say?" and B's response was a big, wheezing "hehhh!"

Let me just say that I love my roommates and I love their stories.

Down and Out Oven

2010-02-08T15:38:00.000-08:00

As mentioned previously, I have two new roommates. They're great, and we've already had several adventures. One of which I would like to share with you all. One Saturday, while I was taking a nap, one of my roommates (J) decided to cook dinner for some friends and family. While cooking, she was trying to change the oven from bake to broil. It wasn't switching over, so naturally she pushed the button harder. Turns out she pushed the button so hard that the oven's display caved into the oven. It still worked, it was just inside the oven. Well, she finished preparing the food and people came over and they ate. By this time, I had woken up and entered the kitchen where J confessed it all to me. I laughed and didn't think it was that big of a deal, but she still felt bad. Her brother is a Mr. Fixit and offered his assistance. He pulled it out and had at it with wire to try to get the display to stay back out. While all of this was going on, I was thinking to myself, "You know, we should probably unplug it, and I don't think we should be using wire." Did I say anything? No. I figured her brother had it under control. Then, my other roommate (B) decided to help out. Not the best idea because she moved the wire, not realizing she had moved it to where the live wires were. As soon as they touched, POW! All the electricity went out. Luckily nobody was zapped. We found flashlights and went to the fuse box in the hall, but apparently it wasn't the main box. We search the garage, the crawl space, and outside. We finally found it and got the electricity back on. We went back to the oven and the display was black and fried. Most of us, including myself, found the whole situation to be quite entertaining, but my roommates felt really bad for nuking the oven. They offered to buy a new display and her brother said he would install it. They looked around for the part, but nobody had it and they had to end up special ordering it. By the time we got the part and her brother could get it installed, it had been two weeks. We had survived for two weeks with a microwave and a crockpot. Not the most enjoyable two weeks, but totally worth the story.

Shipwrecking Party

2010-02-08T15:04:00.000-08:00

This last Christmas I decided to make an awesome gingerbread creation. Instead of a regular house, I made a shipwrecked pirate ship, complete with giant hole for swag to fall out of. Totally cool beans! Just take a look.

After weeks of display on my dining room table, I decided it was finally time to complete the shipwrecking. So, I had a shipwrecking party. To celebrate, I invited many of my crazy friends, we dressed all piratey, and we went to Pirate Island. While there we had our favorite waiter, who then attacked one of my friends to get her pirate booty.

After our excursion to Pirate Island, we went back to my place and commenced Operation: Shipwreck. We began with Nerf-like guns and balls. Everyone took several shots, and we dented the ship, but no complete destruction.

So, a few of my friends and I decided it would be much more effective to just use our fists.

It was, indeed, much more effective.

The milk was then distributed and the ship was thoroughly enjoyed.

A Not So Normal Use for a Body Pillow

2010-01-28T14:18:00.001-08:00

So, in mid-December of last year my roommate moved back to Korea. Very, very sad day. But a few weeks later, two of my other friends, who happen to be sisters, moved in. Now, to prepare for the move I decided to move into the smaller bedroom. I figured it would be much fairer if I let them have the bigger room to share. (Side note: After living in the biggest room you have ever lived in, it's hard to move to a smaller one.) A friend of mine helped me move my stuff to the other room one snowy afternoon. In the process of trying to make everything fit, I needed to measure my bed and the space I wanted to leave for it. Problem: I had no measuring tape. Solution: Use my huge, orange body pillow. As I was measuring my friend was laughing her head off and completely doubting my methods. Result: It fit with about 6 inches to spare. Go me!

Blog Update Overload

2009-12-11T12:54:00.000-08:00

So, it's been a while and there are a few experiences to share.

First, computers are funny. My desktop has been acting a little crazy lately. Every time I type the letter "I" at the beginning of a word it automatically capitalizes it. It's like the automatic fix thing for the word "I" went on overtime. So, when typing things I have to add a letter in front of the "I" in order to keep it lower case. For some reason I liked the letter "W." So, interview became winterview, in became win, into became winto, idea became widea, and so on. Now, if this ever happens to you and you follow my example of adding the letter, just be sure you remember to delete the additional letter.

Second, I have now been a witness at a wedding. One of my students was having a small wedding in a chapel and asked me to be a witness. Now, when I say small wedding, I mean it. There were five people there, total. The couple, the bishop, and the two witnesses. It was actually really sweet. There wasn't a big hooplah, just something simple. It was a nice reminder that all the big expensive accessories aren't necessary. And what made the experience even better was that it was all in Chinese. I don't speak a word of it, but witnessed it all the same.

And third, today was our work Christmas party. We did a white elephant gift exchange. I love those things. It's an excuse to give away junk. So, lucky me, I had actually just cleaned my place and had a big ol' pile of stuff to give to DI. I just went through the pile and grabbed a bunch of random stuff. It was a hit. I actually won the prize of best gift given. It was an honor, but I don't think I want it again because as my prize I got the best white elephant gift ever: pickled imported mild Greek golden peperoncini. In short, pickled peppers. The joys of Christmas.

Halloween Dance

2009-11-07T12:58:00.000-08:00

So, I really do enjoy planning the dances for the ELC. Yeah, it adds a lot of stress, but it's fun too. For the Halloween dance, in addition to the dance and refreshments, we had a haunted hall, a costume contest, and a special performance by some of the teachers and staff. Check out the pictures below.

We did some special advertising for the dance. Two other teachers and I wore our costumes and announced it to the students in their classes. Our costumes were Queen Narissa, a Ute fan, and the girl from The Ring. The students were totally creeped out by that.

This is a glimpse of the haunted hall. It was darker than the flash implies.

A fortune teller "welcomed" the students.

Medusa surprised them around the corner. (Even though she does look rather friendly here.)

A wraith followed them after they passed.

A zombie startled them on their way out.

Then there was the costume contest. The funniest costume was a monkey. The scariest was a vampire. The best was Beetlejuice.

We did a performance for the students. It was 12 Days of Halloween. It was to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas, but with words more suited for Halloween. The 5th day was five scary spooks. Each time we sang this, one of the "five scary spooks" would kill of a member of the choir until there was finally nobody left. Then all of the dead choir members rose from their fallen state and ran into the crowd of students. Pretty awesome.

Automatic Everything

2009-10-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

Everywhere you look there is something that is automatic. You really can't escape it. Just look at some public restrooms: automatic faucets, automatic soap dispensers, automatic paper towel dispensers, etc. So, this weekend was, and still is at the moment, the I-TESOL Conference. It was held on BYU campus this year. Lucky me, I didn't have to travel anywhere. On Friday, after many hours of going to presentations, presenting, having dinner, and listening to a plenary speaker, I had to use the restroom. We had finished the conference in the Wilkenson Center (The Skyroom Restaurant to be precise. After all the hype I've heard about the place I really wasn't that impressed with the food.), and I searched for the nearest restroom and went right on in. I entered a stall, took care of business and looked at the toilet paper dispenser. It was automatic. I was like, "No way." So, I tried it out. I did the little magic wave under the dispenser and tp began rolling out. Let me just say that it was a good thing that no one else was in the bathroom because I started laughing. Really?! An automatic tp dispenser? I mean, I see the point in all the automatic stuff: don't be wasteful. But let's be honest, you gotta have the right amount of tp, especially when it's the really thin stuff they have at all schools. So, what do we do? Just wave our hand under it again. In the end, I honestly don't believe we are saving that much toilet paper. What will people find to make automatic next?

What Once Was Lost, Now Is Found...And Given Away

2009-10-10T13:18:00.000-07:00

So, here's a funny story. A friend of mine wanted to borrow my Finding Neverland dvd (wonderful movie, by the way), so I loaned it to her. Usually I check the case to make sure the dvd is in it. This time I didn't. I saw her a week later and asked if she had watched it yet. She said, "Oh yeah. I've been meaning to tell you that the dvd wasn't in the case." And of course, I thought, "What the junk happened to it?" I searched everywhere in my living room and bedroom for it. I asked other friends who usually borrow dvds. It was nowhere. So, I gave up looking for it and just decided to buy a new one. I got it, watched it to make sure it worked, and put my name on it like I usually do when I buy a new dvd. About two weeks later I got home very late after a long day and my roommate came up to me, with her hands behind her back and said, "Don't kill me." I told her I would never and could never do that. She then proceeded to show me her hands which held my missing Finding Neverland dvd. As she was begging for mercy, I just started laughing. I mean, really, knowing my luck I should have known that was going to happen. It turns out that when she first moved in she tried to watch that movie on her TV and dvd player, but her TV was broken. She turned it off and put it all away, but forgot the dvd was still in there. So, a few days later I told this story to a friend of mine. She said she loved that movie, and I asked her if she had it and if not, then if she wanted my copy. She did not have it, and so I gave her my copy. Lesson to be learned: Always check your roommate's dvd player, even if it is shoved in a closet. It may save you $10.

I need a bigger plate

2009-09-23T12:57:00.000-07:00

So, you know the phrase "Don't put too much on your plate" (or something along those lines)? Well, I never follow this, and I always regret it. Let me explain what I have done to myself this time. I'm working two jobs, going to school almost full-time, working on and finishing my MA project so it can be piloted next semester, co-presenting at a conference, planning the Halloween dance,...I think there's something else, but I can't remember which is probably not a good thing. Honestly, really, I just need to get a bigger plate.

What's Really Inside a Bludger?

2009-08-31T20:56:00.000-07:00

I was hanging out with a few of my long-time friends over the weekend watching various "happy" clips from movies. Fun thing to do, by the way. My friend has several hundred movies and we each chose a few that had happy moments. They could either be funny, romantic, whatever. Then we showed movie clips to each other and just laughed. The ones I chose were: Fellowship of the Ring - the hobbits' drinking song, The Three Amigos - my little buttercup routine, While You Were Sleeping - the random kid falling off his bike, Johnny English - recording of him dancing to ABBA song, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - the explanation of quidditch. Now, with the last one I mentioned, one of my friends reminded me of our explanation of bludgers that we came up with many years ago. If you really sit down and think about it, what makes those killer balls fly around on their own and make that irritated, angry noise? Explanation: There is a little chiuaua inside each and every one. Really. Can't you picture this tiny chiuaua just running around inside it. Every time the ball is set loose it attacks innocent players. It's always doing it's "Aararraraarrrar." When it's hit, it comes back to take its revenge and its irritated growling gets louder. It moves fast and at chaotic angles. It makes sense, right? Check it out for yourselves. Watch the first Harry Potter movie when Wood is explaining quidditch to Harry.

Swinging in the Mountains

2009-08-25T13:37:00.000-07:00

I have experienced a new joy that everyone should try. Last week I went with a friend of mine and her parents to their family cabin. Wonderfully relaxing, by the way. Anyways, at the cabin they have these swings. You climb up the hill a little from the cabin and you see these two tall tree trunks with a metal pole connecting the two at the top with about 20 foot chains hanging from them. You attach the swing seats on the lowest link so you have the biggest swing (even though it makes pumping difficult because your feet would hit ground). Now, the trunks are at the edge of a small ledge. So, imagine, if you will, walking up the sloped hillside, launching yourself down and over the ledge and above the downward slope. At the peak of your swing you are about 15-20 above the ground heading straight for a group of trees, and then you are pulled back down and up the hillside. Just always make sure you keep your legs straight if you are on the last link; otherwise, you hit your feet on the ledge and they proceed to drag along the ground. (It happened to me. I cursed my lucky stars for something happening, and they cursed me back by having my feet hit the ledge.) Now, all of this sounds magically blissful, but what is even better is doing it at midnight. My friend and I went out with flashlights to hike up to the swings. We got them all prepared, checked for any wild animals ('cause, you know, who wants to bump into a bear or something while swinging?), and turned off the flashlights. Now, there was no moon shining, only billions, upon billions of stars. This made for a very interesting swing because the sky was brilliant with constellations, planets, shooting stars, the Milky Way, and any and all stars within the vision of mere mortals, and it also made the ground and everything around absolutely pitch black. You couldn't see anything, even after your eyes adjusted, it was a vast nothing. After a few moments of gaping at the awesomeness of the scene, we launched ourselves out into the pit of darkness followed by the glorious wonders of the sky. Almost a scary feeling when you fly out and look down and see nothing when you are 15 or so feet in the air. But, then when you fly out and look up you feel like you are about to join heavens shining above you. The most majestic experience I have ever had. We did it every night we were up there.

If you ever have the chance, go swing in the mountains at midnight. One recommendation though, don't use one of those flashlights that you wear on your head. The moths like to crash into your face.

Awesome Quote

2009-08-13T10:05:00.000-07:00

So, one of my students wore a totally awesome shirt last week. I think it is one of my favorite shirt quotes of all time. It said,

"I didn't slap you. I high-fived your face!"

Oh my gosh! I was laughing my head off! It probably made me look even less professional as a teacher, but whatever, I loved it.

Don't Say It Unless You're Sure

2009-08-10T16:36:00.001-07:00

So, quickie story here. I needed to drop off an endorsement at the Honor Code Office this last Friday. I wasn't exactly sure where it was at, but I guessed it was in the Wilk. My roommate said she knew exactly where it was and said she would show me. So, I didn't bother to look it up since she "knew." She said it was in the Tanner building. I had my doubts, but she said she was 100% positive because she had just been there earlier this year. I hence told her that if she was wrong, I'd kill her. She said that was fine since she was 100% sure. So, we went. Parking was interesting for two reasons: 1)I had to park illegally since my sticker expired a year ago; 2)We parked in this new parking garage and the dumb thing had no way to get to the Tanner building except by walking out the way you went in. No stairs, nothing. Very poorly designed, in my opinion. My roommate led me to the 5th floor and it was nowhere to be found. We asked around in a few offices, and they all said that it wasn't there. The last one said to check the Wilk. That office happened to be the Accounting Office. A light went on in my roommate's brain, and she realized that at the same time she had gone to the Honor Code Office earlier in the year, she had also gone to the Accounting Office to get her taxes done. We had been parking and searching for about 20 or so minutes (really not that bad), just to find out that my hunch was right to begin with. I was laughing pretty hard, and she was begging me not to kill her. Eventually, we did make it to the Honor Code Office, which was indeed in the Wilk.

So, lesson to be learned, never say 100% unless you are really 100%.

Summer Fun

2009-08-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

So, I know I'm running behind in my blogs and such, but whatever. I'm a busy girl. I thought I would just share with you some of my adventures over the summer so far. It's long, but deal. Let me begin with the Scottish Festival. I love this thing! I have gone to it the last 3 years, and each year I discover something new.

This year I watched the Opening March (or something like that). There were hundreds of bagpipers and dozens of drummers. Totally freakin' awesome.

This is my favorite Scottish musical group ever! The Wicked Tinkers. One of my favorite songs is called Wallop a Cat. The title alone makes me laugh.

Oh the Highland Games! There is nothing better than seeing men in kilts throwing incredibly heavy and incredibly awkward things. Oh what men will do to show their masculinity.

Now the 4th of July was an awesome and fun-filled holiday. It began with sleeping in, one of my ultimate favorite past times. Too bad I rarely get a chance to do it. I woke up just in time to go to a sibling bbq. The food was quite yummy and I got to play with adorable nephew, Owen. We enjoy entertaining each other.

And he also, apparently, likes to stick his finger in people's mouths.

My brother was incredibly cheesy. He dressed Owen that morning in matching clothing. Cute though.

Ah, you can't have the 4th of July without fireworks. This is my friend, Diana. She loves fireworks and so does her family. So, I went to their show.

Since the store-bought fireworks don't get very big, I thought it would be cool to get some zoomed-in pictures. The two below are a couple of the ones I took. I think they look pretty funky.

Now, before watching this video, you may want to turn down the volume on your speakers. Diana and her family, mostly Diana, taped 164 (I think) screamers to a piece of plywood and set all the screamers off at once. Now really, what better way to show your patriotism? Once again, I am warning you to turn down the volume before watching the video.

On the 24th, two of my friends and I went to visit my parents in southern Utah. While visiting, we spent quite a bit of time in nature.

Here are my friends, Soonyeun and Mayte standing by a natural bridge just outside of Blanding.

We went to Arches and it was so much fun. I love the look of the red rock. Southern Utah, in my opinion, is the best part of Utah.

Since we were spending so much time out in the sun, I decided to try and even out my tan. I have driver's tan, and I hate that. So, while hiking I would hold my arm out to get more exposure. It really didn't help much. Do you like how my dad is mocking me?

This is a view of Delicate Arch from the view point or whatever it's called. And just some other random pictures below.

Now, the pictures below are of one of my ultimate favorite places, Muley Point (I don't think I'm spelling that right, but whatever. Sorry nature.) You just stand out on the edge and you have this 180 degree view of the goose necks 4,000 feet above them. Absolutely gorgeous.

Disco Fever

2009-07-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

So, I love helping with the student activities at the ELC, and this semester I got the chance to plan one. I was asked to plan the midterm dance for the students. I was thrilled. The theme I chose...Disco. It took a lot of planning and organizing, but the students LOVED it.

Instead of the food they usually have at activities and dances (pizza, sandwiches, cookies, etc) I did fondue. Huge success...not to pat myself on the back too hard or anything...but hey, it was a brilliant idea.

This is me with my present roommate, Soonyeun. She works at the ELC too. I dressed as Cher. Can you tell I like orange?

At the Halloween dance last year a bunch of the teachers/staff got together and did a "Thriller" performance for the students. I thought it would be cool if we did something like it for this dance. So, my friend, Trevor (the guy with the green hair which I still don't consider Disco), is a dancer and choreographed the performance. We danced to "Saturday Night Fever." The next several pictures are of the performance. It was frickin' incredible.

Now the picture above isn't exactly the best, but I included it to tell what was going on at this moment. We went right up to the crowd of students to do these cool moves and some male students who were directly in front of me started to grab my clothing and hair (wig) and scream their guts out. Well, I decided to get into it and pumped up my groove. They freaked out even more. Quite entertaining. I must say that I have never quite been in that same situation before.

Here's a pic of the crowd of students.

Me and my friend Trevor. We're just a touch crazy. My ginormous fake orange eye lashes had fallen off at this point. Too bad.

A student of mine from last semester. He's absolutely nuts, which means he is absolutely entertaining.

Behind the scenes in the kitchen. Had to start working on those dishes that got incredibly dirty making all of the fondue sauce. We did chocolate and cheese.

Me and one of my students. It was clean up time and it's hard to clean with a 2 1/2 - 3 foot wig on your head, so I meandered around with my wig cap. Yeah, I know I look weird, but accept it.

My Take on Pianos

2009-05-30T16:48:00.000-07:00

I have officially decided that I never want to own a piano. Here's my reasoning: I plan on moving around a bit in my life and moving a piano is a huge, frickin pain. A good friend of mine texted me last Friday night and asked if I would help her and her family move that Saturday morning. I, being the good friend that I am, volunteered my services. I went the next morning and was told that we were going to be moving a piano. There were five girls and one guy. Hmm. I've heard of it taking a lot more people and most were of the male gender. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to the task ahead of us.

The layout of the house was such that the back door led to the parking lot where the trailer was. Now the back door was a sliding door that led onto a rickety, old, wooden porch with 6 steps leading down to a fenced in area which then led to the parking lot. My friend's mother apparently thought I was tough or something because she had me lift the back side of the piano with my friend. The mom had one end, her son had the other, and the two apparently not so tough girls had the keyboard side. We moved it down a frickishly narrow hallway where the two keyboard girls had to let go. We got it through the kitchen and to the sliding door. Now this sliding door is one of the narrowest ones I have ever seen. There was only enough room for the piano to slide through. The mom went through first to balance it out while the rest of us lifted and slid it though. My friend and I then had to go out and around the house to help out on the porch. The porch was rather narrow as well and we needed to angle the piano in order to get it out the door. The first attempt led to failure. The second led to success, but with great effort. We then needed to turn and parallel the piano with the steps. After accomplishing that the mom, son, and daughter went to the bottom of the steps to support the piano as we took it down. That left my friend and I to lift it down the steps. There wasn't enough room for the other girl to help out. With much strain and effort we lifted the piano down each step, all the while I was thinking that the rickety, old porch would collapse beneath us which would lead to the destruction of the piano and myself. We finally got it down and turned (again) to head out the fence and into the trailer. Things were going well until the trailer. The mom wanted me and my friend to get into the trailer first to lift it up into it, which was no fun considering I had to do some serious squatting and lifting. We got the edge of the piano over the lip of the trailer, and then they set the piano down on the other side. As soon as they did that the other end of the trailer lifted completely off the ground by at least a foot or two (since it wasn't attached to a truck or anything yet). The two keyboard girls ran to sit on the other end and we lifted the piano again. We lifted and skooched and slid that piano across the trailer with the trailer shaking all the while (again, it wasn't attached to anything) and banging my toe in the process. We got it into the corner thinking we were all done, but no, the piano had other ideas. As we were all getting off the trailer was shaking about (not to sound redundant, but again, it wasn't attached to anything) and the piano decided to start falling forward. Luckily, my friend caught it and others ran in to hold it up. The mom and son grabbed boxes from the house to set beside it to stabilize it. Finally, the task was finished. And what do you know, as soon as we finished another guy showed up.

I came away from that experience with very few injuries. 1) the toe that got banged, no break but very sore, 2) extremely tired forearms that couldn't even lift a jug of milk, 3) very sore muscles the next day, and 4) a pinched nerve or something in my pinkie finger. How the junk do you hurt a pinkie finger while moving a piano? The other "injuries" are understandable, but a sore pinkie finger...I don't get it.

So, anyways, to make a long story even longer, I will never get a piano. I am perfectly content with electronic keyboards. They may not sound as good as a piano and may not look as formal, but at least they are light and portable.

Jersey Vacation

2009-05-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

I have documented below part of my journey to New Jersey. It was so wonderful being back there. I spent all day every day with my brother, sister-in-law, and their two kids. The little ones kept me busy, but very entertained. We did many exciting things: go to Philly, celebrate Spencer's birthday, go to the Wild Safari, go to Princeton, etc. In the end, I didn't want to come back home. So much so that I had to fight back the tears at the airport when they dropped me off. But work is work and when it calls you back you have to go.

Now, one thing I have to tell you is that either my memory card or this computer is being very stupid. It will only let me download some of my pictures, not all. There were some more I wanted to put on, but you will just have to be satisfied with these. If my camera will let me, I will post some of the more artistic photos later.

Waimea playing with flowers.

Spencer being a curious, little boy.

Spencer striking a pose for the camera.

Spencer doing who knows what, but keeping himself entertained.

Waimea carrying her security blanket.

Mother and daughter playing piano. Waimea sings along too.

Part of the obstacle course at Spencer's birthday party.

Ooh. The pinata, which I got to blow to pieces when the kids couldn't break it open.

Waimea loving that cupcake.

A lovely view of the ostriches at the Wild Safari. One of them even tried to eat the windshield of the car. Not very tasty, I'm sure.

A lovely sunset from one of our walks at night. We saw some big, fresh animal prints soon after I took this picture, so we booked it out of there. None of us wanted to encounter a big, furry animal.

Evan and Spencer playing soccer.

Waimea joining in on the fun.

Katri and Waimea chillin' in the Princeton fountain. Waimea was not a fan of getting completely wet. We tried.

But Spencer was a big fan.

For My Students

2009-05-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

This blog is dedicated entirely to my LS4 class Winter 2009. They created these awesome commercials as a part of a class assignment. I hope everyone enjoys them. We also had a little fun at our class party doing Zumba.

The Diet Commercial

The Speed Walking Commercial

The Zumba Commercial

Trying Zumba in class party

Stale Marshmallows

2009-04-09T15:30:00.000-07:00

I love Easter. But, I just want to know how stale marshmallows, wrapped in sugar, and shaped as chicks or bunnies got wrapped into this season. I just don't see the appeal. No offense to those who love peeps (one of my very best friends absolutely loves them and lets them get even more stale and thinks they're delicious), but I think they are pure evil coated in sugar. I mean, you take a bite and there's such an overload of sugar that you gag it back up and out. Appalling really. And over the last few years they've been creeping their way into other holidays. Stay away! Leave the other holidays alone already. I mean, it's bad enough that you've taken over one. The only redeeming quality about peeps is that you can stick them in the microwave and have them "duel." Other than that........yuck.

Highlights of California Vacation

2009-04-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

My friends claim I look like a devil in this picture. Fire, "horns," and a snarl.

Who knew that the elephant was impaling my head? I certainly didn't.

Got a little trigger happy after the ride.

Life is best in 3D. And if you're not sure if you're in it or not, just put on the glasses. Maybe it will become 4D...........Nope, it doesn't.

We like to pose for things.

It's fun playing in water. We would have stripped to our bathing suits and gotten soaked, but we had to stay dry for the bike car thing we rented. Which bike car thing?

This bike car thing. It was frickin' awesome!

A lighthouse adjacent to the cafe on the pier where we ate brunch.

Long Beach is obviously quite long.

There were tons of kite surfers at Huntington Beach.

A lovely sunset taken at the end of the pier at Huntington Beach. I thought the light pole was cool too.

This is outside the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. They have tons of light poles just lined up waiting to be walked through. Very cool museum by the way.

This sea creature is a mixture of a ray and a shark. I call it a rayshark. I don't know what it's really called, but that's what I have dubbed it. Since it was the touch pool I tried to touch it, but the water was too deep. I had my whole arm in there and still couldn't reach it. Oh well. I've touched a shark before anyway (a baby one). Oh dad, I still want that picture by the way. Thanks.

The seals and sea lions were absolutely the coolest part of the aquarium.

You have to test the bed when you go to a hotel. And let me tell you, these are the BEST beds I have ever slept on. Okay, I take that back. They actually tie with the bed in Todd and Kristy's basement.

Advice from Pepe

2009-04-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

There are many idiots in world today. You see them everywhere you go. The wise ones are hard to find, but when you do find them it is totally worth the effort. I have decided to share some advice that I received from a very wise individual, Pepe the king prawn. I received a book stuffed with advice from Pepe for Christmas this last year, and let me tell you, it changed my life. I feel inspired to share with you the some quotes that have influenced me the most. (It's Hard Out Here for a Shrimp, 2008, The Muppet Studios.)

"Life is a party. Don't be the pinata."

"Live each day as if it were your last. Eventually, you'll be right, okay."

"I believe in making a commitment. I just don't believe in keeping it, okay."

"Don't go to a party school. If you don't know how to party by the time you get to college, it's probably too late, okay."

"Getting older is better than getting deader, okay."

"You must find your own style. Be unique. Be yourself. And for the love of prawn, look in the mirror before you go out dressed like that, okay."

"You never need the last rest area until you pass it."

Thank you, Pepe.

Songs for Lord of the Rings

2009-03-12T16:21:00.001-07:00

So, my friends and I are fans of The Lord of the Rings. Big fans...maybe not as big as some, but big nonetheless. Years ago, when the movies and PS2 games came out, we came up with songs for many of the characters. I wrote them all down on a piece of paper, but can no longer find it which depresses me greatly. The ones I do remember are as follows (and if I spell things wrong, whatever. i don't have the books with me at the moment):

Sauron: "I'll be watching you" (the Sting stalker song)

Legolas: "Dude looks like a lady" (Aerosmith?)

Gimli and Legolas: "Anything you can do I can do better" (no clue)

Gimli: "I am a rock, I am an island" (no clue who sings it, but play the video game and you see what we mean. he doesn't move!)

Ring wraiths: "One way or another, I'm gonna find ya. I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha." (no clue)

Aragorn: "Blow your mind" (Nick Carter. this is based on a dream I had where Aragorn was in a music video and this was the song)

Urukai: "Another [elf] bites the dust" (Queen)

Eowin: "Walk like a man, talk like a man" (no clue)

Sam: "Drowning" (BSB)

As soon as I find the paper I will send an update, but considering the state of my room that may be a while.

When did I get out of the loop?

2009-03-09T14:18:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I'm really not that old. I consider myself to be quite young actually, but life is telling me otherwise. I teach ESL and my students are always asking me about these slang phrases that they have heard in songs or from friends. Most of them I have never heard before and are rather weird. The best I can do is look at the rest of the context and guess what it means. But, every time they ask me and I have absolutely no fricken clue what it means I feel that much older and that much farther away from the next generation. Pretty soon I won't be able to understand a single word anyone below the age of 20 is saying. Well, I think teenagers are all idiots anyway, so that's really not that big of a loss.

Testing Disney

2009-03-03T14:39:00.001-08:00

This same friend from the previous blog entry and I are planning to test Disney myths. We want to see if all of things things that happen in Disney movies can happen in real life. Here are some of the myths we plan on doing:

Singing in a forest to see if little, precious birdies come sing along with us.

Leaving a shoe on some steps (either a guy from the ward or the big staircase on campus) to see if some guy will search far and wide for the girl belonging to that shoe.

We wanted to test out a wishing well, but we have no idea where to find one.

And our list kind of ended there, but if anyone has any suggestions feel free to make some and we will test them out.

A Butt Massage

2009-03-03T14:10:00.000-08:00

Wow. What an experience. I love massages (receiving and giving), but never in my life had I ever had a butt massage, and I had never, ever planned on giving one. However, I have crazy friends, and when you have crazy friends and you, yourself, are crazy, then you do things you never thought you would do. I'm sure this isn't an odd thing for a lot of people, but I personally never really wanted anyone massaging back there. My friend mentioned she could do them and convinced me to let her do it on me. I laid down on the floor on my stomach. She then proceeded to kneel on my butt. And apparently, the more you bend your knees the more painful it is. I had never before experienced such pain on my rear (including the many times I have fallen on my rear). Then, she convinced me to do it to her so I could know how to do it. She laid down on the floor and proceeded to tell me to straddle her, which made me burst out into laughter and almost fall over. I mean, my roommate and I are already pretty darn sure that our neighbors think we're gay, so if they heard that or if they could have seen that, my guess is that they would think it's confirmed. Anyways, so I straddled her and knelt down on her butt. Seriously, I never imagined I'd ever be kneeling on anyone's butt; however, my backside did feel quite relaxed afterward. And if you are now hoping for one since I know how to do it, sorry, it was a one time thing.

The Epitome of Yuckiness

2009-02-20T13:09:00.000-08:00

I hate colds. I hate them with a passion. I am presently on my second cold for this winter. You feel so incredibly disgusting when you have one. And really, you are incredibly disgusting. For starters, you have a colored mass of blobs that is dying to explode out of your face but has no idea how to do it so it just sits there. Then, to try and get this colored mass out, you choke down this medicine which tastes like nothing pleasant even though it is supposedly citrus flavored. Next, it naturally follows that the colored mass will begin to flow from your face, which will require the use of much tissue. Said tissue will begin to overflow from your pockets, bags, and purses. It begins to pile and surround you like all of your rolling hills of dirty laundry. Not only is it the cause of a gargantuous mess, but it also tears, dries, and absolutely destroys the skin on your face. You're left with this redness and soreness that doesn't leave until you are long over the cold. No amount of lotion, cream, or goop can make it go away because you just use a tissue again right after you apply one of them. The effort is fruitless. Now, if it's a really bad cold there will also be the hacking up of your lungs and the feel a razor in your throat. When you breathe you feel as though you are breathing out death on all those around you. It would honestly be best if you could avoid all human contact when you contract this horror; however, you cannot because you still have to live your life.

Since it's almost Valentine's Day...

2009-02-12T14:14:00.000-08:00

So, since I most likely won't be checking my blog again before Valentine's Day, I feel obligated to share some inspirational quotes with you now.

"Forget love - I want to fall in chocolate." -the bottom of a candy dish

"[Thy] kiss is comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake." -Shakespeare

"When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams." -Dr. Suess

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." -Germaine Greer

I hope you are inspired.

Careful Which Buttons You Push

2009-02-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

I really do love my friends. They entertain me so. I was with a friend yesterday and she told me of an experience she had a few hours before. Even just thinking of it now makes me giggle. She was a little embarrassed by it, but knew I would get a kick out of it. So, she's not very technologically savvy and sometimes just pushes random buttons to try and fix things. This action has led her into trouble several times. This time, for kicks, she was just randomly pushing buttons on her phone. All of the sudden this screen popped up asking her to key in a code of some kind. She had no idea what her phone was asking for so she tried random codes, which didn't work. She couldn't get out of the screen and PUK Blocked appeared (When she showed me I thought it said PUKE Blocked, and I thought, "Well, that's good."). At the bottom of the screen she saw two options. One was OK and the other was SOS. She thought the SOS would lead her to some technical support from her phone company. Nope. It dialed 911, and they answered. My friend freaked out and tried to calmly explain what happened. Luckily, the lady who answered was nice about it. She now has to talk with her phone company because pretty much every time she turns her phone on it automatically dials 911. I couldn't stop laughing when she told me. I mean, wow. Lesson to be learned for all: If you don't know what you're doing, stop pushing the freakin buttons.

Cookie Decorating Gone Wrong

2009-02-11T14:38:00.000-08:00

Since this Saturday is Valentine's Day, I decided to make some cookies for my students. (I realize at public schools you can't do that, but mine is not a public school. So, I make some sort of treat for my students almost every holiday.) Between the three classes that I teach I have about 50 students. A lot of cookies for one person to bake and decorate if he/she isn't a decorator of food. A friend of mine wanted to help and I was more than willing to let her. You see, artistic talent runs in my family; however, mine doesn't quite work in the same way as others' talents. I have a knack for interior design and abstract art. When it comes to anything else, I'm pretty much a failure. This includes decorating food. I can arrange it and make it look nice, but I can't decorate food for the life of me. And yet somehow my friend ended up doing the baking and I ended up doing the decorating. Let's just say that that finished products were beginning to look rather interesting. So, my friend, who loves decorating food, helped. She did the borders while I decorated the middle since the borders and I had been duking it out and I lost...miserably. The cookies looked like they had split personalities, traditional and abstract. Some of the designs I put in the middle looked like check marks with dots, the number 7, distorted smiley faces, the pox, abstract hearts, squiggles that ended up being too squiggly because my friend made me laugh, plus and minus signs, division and multiplication signs, and pi. Luckily I was able to find 50 that look decent enough to give to my students. The rest I will give to my roommate and coworkers. Hey, as long as it still tastes good as it's going down then who cares what it looks like?

The Obvious Winner

2009-02-09T14:10:00.000-08:00

So, I live about a 10-minute drive away from where I work. Everyday I pass the university and all the students heading to their classes. Several of the students have chosen to use a bike as a means of transportation. Kudos to them. I mean it's a great workout, it's faster than walking, and it's cheaper than having a car. I personally could never do it for two reasons. The first reason being I got in an accident as a kid and have only ridden a bike once since then. The second reason being that bicyclists share the roads with giant machines of death. I mean, seriously, these students ride their bikes on the side of the road and only have about 2 feet between them and the car next to them. Sometimes it gets even closer, like on trash days when people have their bins out on the street and the bicyclists have to maneuver their way around them. And then you add snow and ice to the whole mixture and it makes for one violently catastrophic mess. No way. If I didn't have my car I would rather walk than ride a bike. It takes longer, but at least I'm on the sidewalk away from the cars (not including freak accidents where cars can and do end up on the sidewalks). I wouldn't want to risk it because the car would win every single time.

Creepy Crawly

2009-02-05T14:27:00.000-08:00

I have this insanely intense fear of spiders. I can't even look at a picture of spiders without getting completely creeped out. Sometimes I am forced to "deal" with it. Example, I teach English at BYU's English Language Center. People who are not native English speakers go there to learn English for their job or to enter a university. Last semester, one of the classes I taught was a reading class, and one of the books that we read was Charlotte's Web. I was ok with most of the pictures in the book because they were not so realistic. However, along with the book the students needed to do an expository reading. The one they happened to have available here was an educational magazine on spiders. When I first got it at the beginning of the semester I put it face-down in a plastic bag underneath all of the other magazines and books. The time drew near for us to read the magazine, but I couldn't touch it, open it, or even look at it. I asked a friend of mine if she would be willing to cover up the pictures for me with post-it notes. She said she would, but I kept forgetting to take it home. The time arrived when I needed to make a study guide for it and I hadn't had the pictured covered. I had to do it on my own. I took the face-down magazine out of the bag and placed it on the desk in my office. I put my fingers on the very corner of the magazine, closed my eyes, turned it over, and stepped several feet back. I opened my eyes, freaked out, and threw a piece of paper over it. I used a little tape and some post-it notes to fully cover the picture. I could barely force my hands to do it. It was as if I thought the spiders would jump out at me and grab me. Once it was fully covered I put my fingers on the corner, closed my eyes, flipped it open, and stood several feet away. I opened my eyes and freaked out again at the next ginormous pictures of spiders. But this time I had books in my hand and I threw the books onto the table to cover the pictures. As I very slowly removed the books I would cover the area with a piece of paper. I had to repeat this process over and over again until I had covered all of the pictures. It took around 45 minutes. So, really, just picture me standing in my office, feet away from the desk, stiff, scared, covered in goosebumps, teeth clenched, throwing books on top of a magazine. Who does that? I'm sure it was actually quite a site to behold. I was then able to read through it with few complications and create a study guide.

Then, the time came to discuss the magazine and study guide in class. I told my students of my fear of spiders and showed them my copy. They were quite amused. We started to go through the the magazine and check their answers on the study guides. One thing that I had failed to think of was that their copies would not be covered. To read certain sections some would lift their copies and I would get a full view of the cover and get chills all over my body. I told them to keep their copies down so I wouldn't see the horrifying pictures. Then, I had to collect the study guides. I made them cover their copies so I wouldn't see the pictures as I passed by. I still saw a few and tightened up and got goosebumps.

Now, taking the post-it notes and paper off so I could return it in the same condition I got it in was easy. I shoved the magazine in a plastic bag, tied it tight, and took it home, and had my roommate do it. She was nice enough to double bag it for me when she was done.

What I find really odd though is that I have this incredible fear and yet one of my favorite songs is "Boris the Spider" by The Who. Go figure. And just so you know, I'm not including a picture for obvious reasons.

Underwater Spies

2009-02-04T14:27:00.000-08:00

There are certain times in our lives when we really wish people would just mind their own business. Let me give an example. A friend of mine and I do the water aerobics class at the rec center. It is an absolute riot. I mean, you get to splash and play in the water and you're working out at the same time. What could be better than that? The one downfall of this class is that at the same time there is a scuba diving class from one of the universities. Several of the students from the scuba diving class have admitted to the water aerobics instructors that they watch us while they are under the water. So, while we are jumping like cheerleaders, swinging like pendulums, kicking like cowboys, leaping like frogs, walking like crabs, jogging like football players, and running like we are on hot coals, they are watching our every move. Why they are so intrigued by a bunch of women and one guy and all of our jiggling bodies, I have no idea. Let me just say that I am very glad that I wear board shorts over my swimsuit.

Girls' Nights

2009-02-02T14:46:00.000-08:00

For those guys out there who read my blog (the few of you), I would like to explain the concept of a girls' night. These are wonderful events where guys are not allowed. There are three different types of girls' nights, all of which in one way or another relieve stress:

1. Self Indulgence
Required activities: shopping, manicures, pedicures, facials, or any other activity that makes you feel prettier or improved (dinner optional).
Required materials: car and money if not doing it at someone's house, refreshments of some sort.

2. Go Crazy
Required activities: dinner, movies, games, and lots of laughter
Required materials: food, movies, games, location where you don't disturb the neighbors too much, sugar.

3. Post Break-up
Required activities: dinner, chick-flick, laughter and/or tears
Required materials: food, chick-flick, a whole pan of brownies (ice-cream and other toppings optional), forks/spoons, comfortable location

Variation and/or combination is allowed. Now, hopefully you have some additional insight as to what girls do.

Elaboration Needed

2009-02-02T13:57:00.000-08:00

So, I have been asked to give more elaboration on the dream I had of the scientists. Here we go. Remember I told you that I have weird dreams. There was a disease spreading across the nation, almost like I am Legend (I have never seen that all the way through, by the way. I close my eyes and cover my ears during the super scary parts. I really don't do well with scary movies. I once watched the original Psycho and I had to sleep with the light on for two weeks and I still lock my bedroom and bathroom doors.). Anyways, there were these two scientists trying to figure out the source of the disease. None of the research produced any results. Then, one day I was on a rooftop of a building with one of the scientists, a government official, and several news reporters. While discussions and interviews were going on, I looked at the edge of the roof and saw a dorkfish (If you've watched or listened to Bill Engvall you would know what I'm talking about.) floating/walking by someone's foot. The fish touched that individual and he contracted the disease. Nobody else noticed it. Every person the fish touched got it. The government official had already been diagnosed with this disease, but the fish floated/walked toward him. The next thing I knew, the fish was up by the official's shoulder and it popped a pill in his mouth. All of the sudden, the official turned into a flying devil beast, grabbed the scientist and took off. The fish had disappeared. I ran to go save the other scientist. I reached her and her assistant, but the beast was close behind me. The assistant was able to escape before the beast came, but the scientist and I were stuck. There was a big cabinet in her office. I opened it, threw the shelves onto the floor, and shoved the scientist inside just before the beast entered the room. I wasn't scared, but pretended to be so I could hopefully trick the flying monster into thinking I was the only one there. He started to talk to me and to move toward me. And then I woke up. I told you it was weird. And this is how most of my dreams are. Even if they start out normal they end up as these inexplicable phenomenons.

What was Cinderella thinking?

2009-01-30T13:27:00.000-08:00

So, my roommate and I watched Disney's Cinderella the other day. It has been many long years since I have seen that movie. For those of you who have seen it, you may recall the song that she sings near the beginning of the movie. It's entitled, "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes." I honestly believe that she has absolutely no idea what she is talking about. Maybe she dreams of princes and riding off into the sunset with her new-found beau on a giant stallion, but I do not. My dreams do not consist of princes, sunsets, or stallions. My dreams include dorkfish, spiders, vampires locked in refridgerators, space, frog-people, doors that lead to different lives, freeways that move, flying beasts, scientists in need of rescue, and the list goes on. As you can see, my dreams are far from repeats of the ordinary life, and none of these things would I EVER wish for. They make for quite entertaining and sometimes rather horrifying (spiders) dreams, but I don't want these things invading my real life. That would just be way too weird...even for me. So, in conclusion I have to say that Cinderella must have been smokin somethin.

Why "dudefreakinspit"?

2009-01-29T14:39:00.000-08:00

So, you may be asking "Why the junk is her URL "dudefreakinspit?" Well, I will tell you why. My life is surrounded by randomness and oddities, and this URL comes from one of those moments in my life. A friend and I had just become roommates. Neither one of us usually talks while sleeping, but for some reason we both decided to now that we were roommates. One early, early morning I woke up to her saying, "Barlow...Barlow." I jolted up because I thought I had slept in. I looked at the clock, looked at my friend and said, "What?" She responded with, "We have to take the blanket to Mordor." I said, "Huh?" She said, "Huh?" And I proceeded to tell her to go back to bed and I went back to bed myself. A week or so later I dreamt that I was just absolutely furious with someone and was venting to my roommate. I was so angry that I yelled, "Dude freakin spit!" Apparently, I yelled it loud enough to wake myself up and to somewhat disturb the sleep of my roommate.

So, there you have it. This blog will include all of the randomness and oddities that occur. Some, granted, are more amusing than others. However, I hope you enjoy them. If not, well who ever said you had to read my blog anyway?